Vongola Love Couples Interview
by A Knight of a Good King
Summary: TYL. We are interviewing the couples of the Vongola family.
1. First Interview: Lussuria

Hi, this is my second story I upload. Also I am new. Thanks for reading. Hoped you enjoyed it. :D

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><p>Welcome one and all to the Vongola Love Couples Interview. We will be interviewing Lussuria, the sun guardian of the Varia, because it will give us an insight of the Vongola from a single person's view.<p>

Interviewer: Lussuria, thank you for coming to have an interview with us.

Lussuria: Well, I happy and glad to be here. Happy to talk to you and glad because boss and Squalo are fighting again. How lively it is for the Varia.

Q1: Uhm, okay. So the first question is from what I heard. I heard that there's love in the air for the Vongola family and company. Can you tell us the couples and possible secret crushes?

L: Oh my, there's just so much LOVE in the air I had to make a list. And there's a love triangle, too. Oh, I found my list. Here you go:

1) Tsunayoshi Sawada and Kyoko Sasawaga

2) Takeshi Yamamoto and Hayato Gokudera

3) Mukuro Rokudo and Chrome Dokuro

4) Kyohei Sasawaga and Hana Kurokawa

5) Dino and Kyoya Hibari

6) Colonnello and Lal Mirch

7) Xanxus and Squalo

8) Belphegor and Fran

9) Bianchi and Lambo for Reborn

There might be more. For crushes, there's Levi, but his crush for boss isn't really a secret. I bet the whole world knows about it. And for some reason when I see Reborn's pet lizard, Leon, I get a loving vibe from him to Lambo. And then there's. *sobs*

Q2: Uhm, why are you crying?

L: Because my secret crush is already in love. *sobs a whole waterfall*

20 Minutes Later:

Q3: Are you done?

L: Oh yes, sorry. I just got a little too emotional.

Q4: Ok. So for the love triangle of Bianchi and Lambo for Reborn, who do you think Reborn will pick?

L: Oh, that's easy. I know for certain he will pick Lambo because have you seen the boy? Oh, he is just so adorable! I just want to eat him up. He has the innocence of a child, skin as white as snow, dark hair to die for. He has gorgeous green eyes. Young, old, women, and even men tries hit on him. But, Bianchi, yuck. She is, like twenty years older than both of them. She'll be old and wrinkly before you know it.

Q5: Wow. So who are your top three couples and why?

L: Oh, here's a list:

1) Takeshi Yamamoto and Hayato Gokudera because they have been together the longest.

2) Dino and Kyoya Hibari because they look so good together. Can't you just imagine their kids?

3) Xanxus and Squalo because they are such a lively together.

Q6: Oh, thank you for the interview. I wonder how everybody that will be on our next interviews will feel about THIS interview.

L: No problem. Your welco-, wait are going to show this interview to everyone?

Interviewer: Well, of course I am. And thanks again. (Starts running off fast. Really fast)

L: No! Hey! Come Back! I'm goanna get killed! *sob*

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><p>Help me pick my first couple to interview for Vongola Love Couple Interview and question suggestions for it.<p>

Thanks for reading. Hoped you enjoyed it.


	2. Couple 1: Yamamoto & Gokudera

**Thank you for the comments and suggestions!**

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><p><span>Today we are going to be interviewing Takeshi Yamamoto and Hayato Gokudera. Yay! Finally, it took a while since they have been on a mission. We had to wait two months for this interview. Okay, now for the interview!<span>

Interviewer: Thank you both for coming for this interview!

Y: No problem! (Smiling like an "idiot" Gokudera says)

G: Che. I'm only here since the 10th asked me.

Q1: Okay, so let's start. Yamamoto, how did you get that scar on your chin?

Y: Uhm, I (scratches head) think I totally forgot. Hahaha.

G: Stupid baseball idiot. You got it from a mission a few years ago. You had your guard down for a sec and someone threw a knife at you. It barely missed you.

Y: Oh, I think I remember. Hahaha.

Q2: If you both had kids, what would you name them?

G: That's impossible with two guys.

Y: Maybe we can try.

G: O.O

Y: I think I'll just name them on the spot.

G: If it's a girl, I'll name her Bianchi, after my sister. (Blushes)

Y: Hayato, you love your sister, don't you?

G: Shut up!

Q3: So, Gokudera how's your relationship with box weapon creature, Uri?

G: Damn cat won't listen to me.

Y: Maybe you should be nice to it.

G: Why? I'm its master. It should listen to me. And I tried everything. I used catnip and tried to be nice, but it just jumps on me and starts to scratch my face like a scratching post. Damn, cat.

Q4: Can you bring Uri out?

G: Fine. (Opens box)

Uri: _Meowahh! _(Jumps on Gokudera and starts to scratch him like what Gokudera said)

G: Get off of me, Uri!

Y: Now, now. Both of you be nice to each other. (Trying to pull Uri off of Gokudera)

**10 Minutes Later, after Uri got off of Gokudera and all his scratches were treated:**

G: Damn, cat. Why don't it every listen to me?

U: _Purr._ (Being petted by Yamamoto on his lap)

Y: Maybe it is its way of affection.

G: Who in the world does that?

Y: Little boys do that to their crushes. Being mean to them.

G: Thank god, you never do that.

Y: Should I try? Hahaha

G: Don't ever do that.

Y: Don't worry; I will always be nice to you, Hayato.

G: Che. (Blushing a lot)

Q5: Aww! So, who confessed first?

Y: I did. It was a year after we met. It was during a Halloween party at Tsuna's house.

G: Why did you have to confessed in front of everyone? Even, the 10th was there!

Y: Well, It was after I saw you in that maid costume. You were so cute in it.

G: It wasn't because I wanted to! Bianchi forced me into it. Or else, she would reveal her face.

Y: *whispering* I wonder if I can convince Bianchi to put him in a wedding dress?

G: Takeshi, did you say something?

Y: No, nothing.

Interviewer: Yamamoto, please do so and send pictures. Lots of them.

Y: Sure.

G: Takeshi, what are you guys mumbling about?

Interviewer: Uhm, nothing.

Y: *Smiles*

G: It better be nothing.

Q6: Yamamoto, do you have any pictures of that Halloween party of Gokudera?

Y: Of course, I do.

Q7: Can I have a few copies?

Y: Sure, I got plenty.

G: Why do you have those pictures?

Y: Bianchi give me some. Well, a bunch. I got a lot of your baby pictures, too.

G: Throw them away. ALL of them! No, you know what? Burn them! Burn them all!

Y: Aww, but you were so cute in the pictures. Especially, the ones when you got drunk.

G: It was an accident. Stupid Shamal got really drunk and force kissed me the drink

Y: It was funny how the next morning, Shamal was shocked that he kissed a guy, especially you, Hayato. I think he was in a shock for a few days. Hahaha.

G: Yeah, that was kind of funny. And I think we were even since I kicked him a few times during his coma, hard.

Interviewer: Do you have any more pictures?

Y: I have lots of Hayato's cute pictures. You can pick them out if you want.

Interviewer: Yay! I'll come back later.

Y: No problem.

G: You are pissing me off. _*fizzzzzz*_

Q8: Gokudera, why do have your dynamites out?

G: Because I going to kill you.

Y: Now, now, Hayato. Calm down

G: Screw you all! (Throws his dynamite at both the interviewer and Yamamoto.)

Y: Calm down, Hayato.

_Boom! Boom! Boom!_

Interviewer: Uhm, I think it's time for me to go. *Bows* Thank you for the interview! (Starts running faster than after Lussuria's interview)

Y: No problem! Don't forget to come back for the pictures! Hayato, calm down.

G: Get back here, damn interviewer!

_Boom! Boom! Boom!_

U: _Meow._

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><p>Well, wasn't that a frightening?<p>

**Well, thank you. The next interview will be with Mukuro and Chrome. Pick the third couple, and question suggestions are welcome! **


	3. Couple 2: Mukuro & Chrome

Yay! Mukuro and Chrome came back from their vacation from Hawaii. Lucky them. So let's have the interview.

**Interviewer  
><strong>Mukuro and Chrome, I thank you both for coming!

**Mukuro  
><strong>Happy to be here.

**Chrome  
><strong>*nods*

**Q1  
><strong>So, first question: out of all the couples at Vongola, who are your favorite and why?

**Chrome  
><strong>I like YamaGoku because they are like fire and water. They balance each other out.

**Mukuro  
><strong>My favorite is us because it's us.

**Q2  
><strong>They are my favorite couples! Ok, Mukuro, this question has been on my mind ever since I first heard it: Is your hairstyle modeled after a pineapple? And Chrome did you copy him?

**Mukuro  
><strong>I really wish people would not ask me that. It might be their last question.*smiles with a pissed off aura*

**Chrome  
><strong>*giggles* I'm not going to answer that question.

**Q3  
><strong>Uhm, ok, I think. Third question: if you weren't dating each other, who else would you be dating now?

**Chrome  
><strong>Chikusa – san

**Mukuro  
><strong>Bianchi

**Q4  
><strong>Wow, that was unexpected. Next question: who is your greatest rival and what for?

**Mukuro  
><strong>Kyoya Hibari for no reason. Just for fun.

**Chrome  
><strong>M.M. for Mukuro

**Q5  
><strong>What does M.M. stands for?

**Chrome  
><strong>*Shrugs*

**Mukuro  
><strong>I can't tell you. If she finds out that you know or anyone else, she'll kill you. *smiles*

**Q6  
><strong>*shiver* Scary. Next question: Chrome what do you like most about Mukuro?

**Chrome  
><strong>Everything

**Mukuro  
><strong>I like everything about you, too, my darling Nagi.

**Q7  
><strong>That's adorable! Last question: Mukuro, do you think you will propose to Chrome in the near future?

**Chrome  
><strong>*blushes*

**Mukuro  
><strong>That is a very likely chance because she is my dear Nagi. *Goes hugging his dear Nagi*

**Chrome  
><strong>Mukuro, I love you. *Hugs Mukuro back*

**Mukuro  
><strong>I love you, too, Nagi.

**Interviewer  
><strong>*sniffle* This is so romantic. It's like I'm watching one of those happy ending movies. *sniffle* Thank you both for the interviewer. I'm going to leave so you both can have some time together. Bye.

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><p>They are my one of my top 5 favorite couples. So good together, aren't they?<p>

Thanks you for the reviews and for reading. *bows* Hope you enjoyed reading this. Sorry if it's short.

**P.S.  
>Also help me pick the next couple to interview on Vongola Love Couple Interview and question suggests. Thanks again.<strong>


	4. Couple 3: Dino & Hibari

**I was going to update this a few days ago, but I got lazy. Sorry if it took too long.**

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><p><em><span>Today's couple is Dino and Hibari. I hope this one doesn't the interviewer to have to run a way again, especially since she's interviewing Hibari. If she does, then may she rest in peace because nobody can out run from Hibari .Right now at 7 am, the interview is taking place in Vongola HQ. Hibari is napping on Dino's shoulders. So kawii~~!<span>_

**Interviewer  
><strong>Hi Dino. Thanks for taking the time to talk with me.

**Dino  
><strong>No problem. I'm happy that people know we are a couple.

**Interviewer  
><strong>A question before the interviewer. This doesn't count. Why is Hibari taking a nap at 7 in the morning?

**Dino  
><strong>Well, uhm, I just going to say we were celebrating.

**Interviewer  
><strong>That is some celebrating. Then why aren't you?

**Dino  
><strong>Uhm, I was enjoying it a lot better than him and he was taking in things. *nervous laugh*

**Q1  
><strong>Somehow that sounds wrong, but I don't know. I think I got this job because of that. Ok, then. Let's start. First question: When did you guys start dating?

**Dino  
><strong>I'm pretty sure it was a year after I met him.

**Hibari  
><strong>*moves a bit, but is still asleep* Hibird (mumbling in his sleep). *smiles*

**Dino  
><strong>Interviewer, you nose is bloody.

**Interviewer  
><strong>It is? Oh, man. I'm having a fangirl nosebleed. Hibari looks so adorable right now. Do you have any tissues?

**7 Minutes Later**

**Interviewer  
><strong>Ok, I think all the blood is gone. Hopefully. Sorry about that, Dino.

**Dino  
><strong>Wow, that was weird. Do all fangirls do that?

**Q2  
><strong>Yes, it's embedded in our DNA. Next question: Did you do H with Hibari when he was a minor, around he age 16 or 17?

**Dino  
><strong>What kind of question is that? *blushes*

**Interviewer  
><strong>It's a common question. People want to know if you waited for Hibari to be of legal age or if you do H with him when he was a minor. And I didn't pick the questions, my boss does.

**Dino  
><strong>I'm sorry, but I'm not going to answer that question. *looking around the room, not at the interviewer*

**Interviewer  
><strong>Shoot. Man, I betted with a co-worker about that question.

**?  
><strong>~ Hibari ~ Hibari ~ *flies in from the window and lands on Hibari's head*

**Dino  
><strong>Oh, hey. It's Hibird.

**Interviewer**  
>Aww, it's so cute.<p>

**Hibird**  
>~ Hibari ~ Hibari ~<p>

**Hibari**  
>(wakes up) *yawns* Dino, what is going on?<p>

**Dino**  
>Good morning, Kyoya. We are having an interview as a couple. She is the interviewer. * points at interviewer*<p>

**Interviewer**  
>Hi.<p>

**Hibari**  
>I don't remember agreeing to this.<p>

**Dino**  
>Just play along. *smiles*<p>

**Hibari**  
>*gives his signature glare* Fine, but you owe me one.<p>

**Dino**  
>Okay, interviewer, go ahead.<p>

**Q3**  
>Thank, Dino. Hibari, can you answer these surveys?<p>

**Hibari**  
>Whatever<p>

**Survey 1**  
>Who do you like better: Hibird or Dino?<p>

**Hibari**  
>Hibird<p>

**Dino**  
>Does that mean I'm still second to Hibird? :(<p>

**Hibari**  
>Yes<p>

**Survey 2  
><strong>Who do you want to fight the most: Mukuro or Tsuna?

**Hibari**  
>Neither, I have already defeated them both. Weak herbivores.<p>

**Q4**  
>Thank you for that. Fourth question: Hibari, have Dino ever tried to use his whip during sex before?<p>

**Hibari  
><strong>No, and if he every try such a thing, I will bite him to death.

**Dino  
><strong>(under his breath) Damn it. I lost my chance for S&M.

**Hibari  
><strong>What was that?

**Dino  
><strong>Uhm, nothing.

**Hibari  
><strong>Hmp.

**Q5  
><strong>Hibari, what would happen if you got drunk?

**Dino  
><strong>Let me answer. He would start biting people, really. It was funny when people were running away from him.

**Hibari  
><strong>Shut up, herbivore. *pissed* I don't know what happens when I'm drunk, but if I hear anything about it I will bite you to death.

**Q6  
><strong>Okay, got it. Dino, what was the most embarrassing thing you have every done?

**Dino  
><strong>I don't know. I have done a lot of embarrassing thing, like when I drowned in a 4 deep feet lake and when I slipped on the floor and mushed cake on a nun. Maybe you should ask Reborn.

**Q7  
><strong>I will, if I get the chance to interviewer him. Question 7: If the storm arcobaleno, Fong, was to cut his hair and wear what Hibari is wearing and standing next to Hibari, could you tell which is which?

**Dino  
><strong>God, I hope so.

**Q8  
><strong>What are your favorite animals?

**Dino  
><strong>Horses and turtles!

**Hibari  
><strong>Birds and hedgehogs.

**Interviewer  
><strong>Those are cute animals.

**?  
><strong>Hibari, Dino, I hope you both are not still celebrating in bed because Vongola calls for you! Extreme! *opens door*

**Dino  
><strong>Ryohei, good morning. Tell Tsuna we're coming.

**Hibari  
><strong>Next time lock the doors because I do not want anybody to barge in my room.

**Dino  
><strong>Ok, Kyoya. Well, I think this mean that the interviewer is over.

**Interviewer  
><strong>I guess so. Then, I have to thank you both for your time.

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><p><strong>Hey, I counted the words and there was 1,191 minus the notes. And that means it was the longest interview ever. Cool.<strong>

**P.S. Thank you for reading.**

**P.S.S. Pick the next couple the be asked uncomfortable questi- I mean to be interviewed. Again I thank you. Hope you enjoyed.**


	5. Couple 5: Colonello & Lal Mirch

**Interviewer:  
><strong>Yes! You two calmed down. Thank god.

**Colonello:  
><strong>Shouldn't you thank us instead? Kora.

**Lal Mirch:  
><strong>Why? You were the one that started it all.

**Q1:  
><strong>First question: Lal Mirch, why do you always deny that you're blushing?

**Lal Mirch:  
><strong>I do not blush!

**Interviewer:  
><strong>You are a horrible lair. Colonello, lend me your ear, please.

**Colonello:  
><strong>Okay. *leans in*

**Interviewer:  
><strong>*Whisper*

**Colonello:  
><strong>Got it, kora. *goes to Lal and -

**Lal Mirch:  
><strong>What the hell!

**-Click- -Flash-**

**Lal Mirch:  
><strong>Hey! Did you just -

**Interviewer:  
><strong>Took a picture of Colonello kissing you on the cheek while you are blushing like a tomato? Yes. Yes, I did.

**Lal Mirch:  
><strong>Delete it! Delete it now!

**Interviewer:  
><strong>No can do, Lal Mirch. Or else I'm going to get fired. My boss wanted a picture of that.

**Colonello:  
><strong>Can i get a picture of that in wallet size? Kora.

**Interviewer:  
><strong>Of course, since you are a couple.

**Lal Mirch:  
><strong>Do you want me to kill you both?

**Q2:  
><strong>Lal Mirch, do you know that you're still blushing?

**Lal Mirch:  
><strong>I am not!

**Colonello:  
><strong>Lal, the interviewer is right. Kora.

**Lal Mirch:  
><strong>Shut up, both of you! I'm going to %!&*^$ kill you, %*!

**Q3:  
><strong>Lal Mirch! This is interviewer is rated K+! Where did you learn such words?

**Lal Mirch:  
><strong>I learned it from a lot of people. Including Colonello.

**Q4:  
><strong>Colonello?

**Colonello:  
><strong>What did you expect? It slips, kora.

**Q5:  
><strong>Okay, this better be rated K+, or I'm going to blow a whistle in a microphone! Got that?

**Lal Mirch:  
><strong>Fine.

**Colonello:  
><strong>Fine, kora.

**Q6:  
><strong>Good. Next question: are you two married?

**Lal Mirch:  
><strong>No, of course not. Why would you think that?

**Interviewer:  
><strong>Because you two fight like newly weds right after their honeymoon.

**Lal Mirch:  
><strong>Well, we are not.

**Q7:  
><strong>Colonello, do you want to marry Lal Mirch?

**Colonello:  
><strong>I'm deciding on that.

**Q8:  
><strong>Why not? She pretty, smart, and good with you.

**Lal Mirch:  
><strong>Are you trying to get him to propose to me?

**Interviewer:  
><strong>_~Maybe, like in the next two years~_

**Lal Mirch:  
><strong>Okay, that's it. Colonello, do not propose to me within the two years or I'll reject you and hunt you down. I do not want to go according to her evil plans.

**Colonello:  
><strong>But, what if I want to?

**Lal Mirch:  
><strong>Well, don't. *spreading pissed off aura*

**Colonello:  
><strong>Okay, okay.

_Off into the distance they could hear a cat meowing and a whip hitting the air._

**Lal Mirch:  
><strong>What was that?

**Colonello:  
><strong>It sounded like a cat and a whip.

**Interviewer:  
><strong>I think I have an idea of what that was, but I'm not telling you what it means. Colonello, it was a sign for you.

**Colonello:  
><strong>It was?

**Interviewer:  
><strong>Yes, it was. Oh my god. Look at the time. Well, it's time for me to go. Thanks for the interviewer and good luck Colonello.

**Colonello:  
><strong>Thanks, I think.

**Lal Mirch:  
><strong>And I don't want another interview. I don't like your questions.

* * *

><p><strong>Whatcha think? I think I made Colonello a bot OOC.<strong>

**Also, please help me pick the next couple. Thank you.**

**Hoped you enjoyed it, sayōnara.**


	6. Couple 6: Reborn & Lambo

**A/M: Sorry it took a while. I had like an imagination block for, like a few weeks, so I spend a few week on like, a vacation. Don't haze me. Enjoy.**

* * *

><p><em>Yay! Another interview. This interview is with Lambo and Reborn. Bianchi couldn't make it because she got mad.<em>

_**Flashback (before Reborn and Lambo arrived) :**_

_Interviewer: Bianchi! Did you hear what Lussuria said about you?_

_Bianchi: What did he say?_

_Interviewer: Here you go.*hands Lussuria's interview page to Bianchi*_

_2 Minutes Later:_

_Bianchi: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!_

_Interviewer: So what did you think?_

_Bianchi: That bastard called me old! I'm going to &*%^ and *$^*($ his body._

_Interviewer: O.O So scary._

_Bianchi: *runs to the door and goes to the garage*_

_VRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRM_

_Interviewer: Was that Bianchi?_

_Reborn: Yes, it was._

_**End Flasback**_

**Interviewer:** Hello, Reborn.

**Reborn:** Ciaosu

**Lambo:** Am I late?

**Interviewer:** Nope, you just in time, Lambo - chan.

**Reborn:** Why, isn't that a first.

**Lambo:** Yare, yare, you sting bastard.

**Q1:** Are you calling Reborn, cheap?

**Lambo:** What?

**Interviewer:** Sting means "Unwilling to give or spend; ungenerous"

**Lambo:** Well, he is ungenerous.

**Reborn:** But, I'm nowhere cheap. My tie cost 1,500 alone.

**Interviewer:** O.O Wow, Reborn - sama.

**Lambo:** Now you have one more admirer.

**Reborn:** So?

**Lambo:** Just wondering when the world will fall at your feet.

**Reborn:** It can happen now, if I want to. *smirks*

**Q2:** Reborn, have you ever been jealous about Lambo - chan?

**Reborn:** Never.

**Interviewer:** Really? Decimo told me bout the time Lambo - chan was being hit on by about ten guys during a formal party. And the next day, all of them were found hanged upside down from a church. They were all muttering, "Don't touch" like madmen.

**Reborn:** So?

**Interviewer:** So you'll never admit it.

**Reborn:** There's nothing to admit.

**Interviewer:** I doubt that.

**Reborn: **Did you say something, _interviewer?_

**Interviewer: **Nothing, nothing! Now let's go to the next question.

**Lambo: **Another question?

**Q3:** What do you most like about each other?

**Lambo: ** What I like about the stingy bastard? Nothing!

**Interviewer:** Lambo - chan! Language.

**Reborn: **I say the way he moans during sex.

**Lambo: **Shut up!

**Interviewer: **Oh! Tell me more!

**Reborn:** Well, he makes this flushed face when he's in ecstasy. And he always moans my name when he's close.

**Lambo:** Hey! Stop it! Vongola said this was a K+ interview. I'm going now.

**Reborn:** Where exactly?

**Lambo:** Anywhere, but here.

Lambo stand up, but he trips and fell on Reborn.

**Reborn:** How about we do something we will both enjoy?

Before Lambo could say anything, Reborn lift him up like a sack and walked to the door.

**Reborn:** This interview is over. Enjoy the tea while you're here.

Then he leaves.

**Lambo:** Let me down, you stingy bastard!

**_Half an hour later:_**

**Bianchi:** I'm back!

**Interviewer:** Hello, Bianchi.

**Bianchi:** Where's Reborn?

**Interviewer:** Lambo took him.

**Bianchi:** RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWR! ROMEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

* * *

><p><strong>Yay for me cause I finished it. Thanks for reading, hoped you had fun and enjoyed this. :D<strong>


	7. Couple 7: Xanxus & Squalo

**Hi! XD Yay! This one is my favorite couple~! I love Squalo! Does anything when Squalo have short hair, he's cute, and when he have long hair, he's like so awesome~? Xanxus is just plain cool. Ruthless and an uncaring bastard, but in a good way. Also I think this is kinda T. Careful.**

* * *

><p><em>The interview was took place in Varia HQ, in Xanxus office. XD. (He didn't want anybody to know, but Squalo's sitting on Xanxus's lap.)<em>

**Interviewer:** Thank you so much for this interview!

**Xanxus:** Whatever.

**Squalo:** Boss, can get off now?

**Xanxus:** No.

**Squalo:** VOI! You bastard.

**Q1:** Squalo, have you ever dated Dino?

**Xanxus:** You better have not.

**Squalo:** Voi! Hell, no. Where the hell did you get that idea from?

**Interviewer:** I heard it from Lussuria.

**Squalo:** I'm going to kill that bastard!

**Interviewer:** He said you got love bites from Dino too and almost got to third base.

**Squalo: **That son of a b*&%h! He's dead!

**Xanxus: **Hey, shut up. You're too god damn loud.

**Squalo: **You bastard.

**Q2: **Xanxus, do you ever get jealous of Yamamoto?

**Xanxus: **Why would I?

**Interviewer:** Because he's always with Squalo when he's here.

**Xanxus:** So?

**Interviewer:** Never mind. Squalo, Xanxus doesn't get jealous of Yamamoto.

**Squalo:** As long as that happens, the kid will still be alive.

**Q3:** Oh, I get it. Xanxus, do have a kid?

**Xanuxs:** No.

**Squalo: **Why would he have a kid?

**Interviewer:** Because a lot of women fall at his feet.

**Xanxus:** That will never happen. I wear condoms.

**Q4:** What are condoms?

**Squalo:** You don't know what that is? How old are you?

**Interviewer:** 15.

**Squalo: **How can you be 15 and not know what condoms are?

**Interviewer:** I never learn sex ed? SO explain what are condoms.

**Xanxus: **It's a thing you use when you don't want kids.

**Interviewer: **Oh. So that what's the box.

**Squalo:** O.O

**Q5:** Do you use condoms for Squalo?

**Xanxus:** Of course, not.

**Q6:** Next question: What's foreplay? Lussuria said that you guys do foreplay a lot ad just last week he saw Squalo wearing a maid outfit. Does foreplay mean dressing up?

**Squalo:** VOI! That piece of s*$t is going to die!

**Xanxus:** Hey, kid. Take this.

**Interviewer:** Huh? **_Bam! _**Ouch! Why you do that? What is this?

**Xanxus:** Read it.

**Interviewer:** **Sex Ed for Dummies. **What's this for?

**Xanxus:** You because you're dumber than a goldfish.

**Squalo:** Why the hell do you have that?

**Xanxus:** For cases like this. People should be more educated in sex because **SEX IS GREAT.**

**Squalo: **VOI! Why are you teaching this kind of thinking to kids?

**Xanxus:** She should have learn this already.

**Q7: **My aunt always wanted to know this: How do you get Squalo into bed with you?

**Xanxus:** Like this.

**Squalo:** Voi! Where are you tou- _Ahh_.

**Interviewer:** O.O

**Xanxus:** See?

**Interviewer:** I totally do.

**Squalo:** Sto- _mmmh _it.

**Xanxus:** Now get out.

**Interviewer:** Aw. Well, thanks for the interview and the book, Xanxus. Enjoy Squalo.

**Squalo:** Damn it. _Ahhhhh-_

**BAM! **

**Interviewer**: I wish Xanxus let me watch. Oh, well.

* * *

><p><strong>Yay for my favorite couple. Hope you enjoyed it. R&amp;R.<strong>


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